Life worth nothing

I am just being today. Not sure to tell you all that I am happy or sad being here all by myself. Knowing most of you are in Brunei. There are times I broke down and fell down on my feet. Everything doesn't seem to be all right now. Now I know how important those special person in my life & how attitude affects the way they act to me.

Letting go some bit of me, perhaps might make me feel better. Happier. With or without that someone special in my life -- as long as I breathe, I need to move on and continue my journey. Giving up is what I re-live every single day of my life. It keeps me going. It pushes me to do harder, better and be a fighter. I cannot deny, my life is very empty without a man be by my side. But I won't let it stopped me to be happy in a different way. Never again, I seek for love or a man to love me better. I will just let it find its way -- one day I will find someone if its my fate.

... Doing something you like 2nd best is not that bad really ... Everybody knows how much I regreted to be here and do Marketing course, instead of design or Fashion. I will start from scratch again but next time will be something I really enjoy. I am going to look for colleges or universities/ organisations that can offer me doing design or fashion course. Time will tell when I should pursue this. For now, I got a mission to accomplish and make KB proud of me. A first class degree. Pray for it people. Amin.

What else should I share? I was thinking to learn either Japanese, Chinese or perhaps Germany. I was thinking to do Japanese because it is quite easy. Chinese isn't that hard as I learn basic ones. £33 for 10 lessons. Maybe I can just do both language. My plan is to be in Japan for a while, then Germany, then South Korea to meet Seng! I miss him so so much. Then France to meet Gaelle -- I miss her so much too. These two people helped me go through my life a lot. I still owed it to you both. I love you both so much. Seng how are you? How's army? Please reply to my e-mails. I will be waiting for you & hope to see you before I go back Brunei for good. I got so much to tell you!

My friends in Brunei & UK -- treat today as if you are going to die! Ganbatte!!!!!

Bebs Eda Meng (like it or not, it'll be different yet better)