Blood, sweat and tears

Hey everybody,
How are you all doing? I hope all of you are doing very fine. As for myself, I am recovering from the cold. Nose is a bit sore from sneezing all night long. Goodness.

Yesterday I am a bit of a mess, I let all the negative aura controlled me. In the end of the night, I am myself again. I am re-thinking about what people say to me. Today it is: "You will not feel lonely and empty if you got something to do". I agree with this statement and disagree at the same time. To be honest, since I was young... My life has been spoiled with material things. Watching Confessions of a shopaholic reflect some part of my life. I remember the unspeakable happiness when I first got my mobile phones. It feels like you fall in love with the perfect guy but better!

OK about the statement above: I agree because if we got something to do....

• times will be shorter
• you will be tired
• keep you thinking of other things but concentrating on something that you do

Disagree because I grew up with people around me. I never been all by myself. It is something abnormal for me. I will definitely feel depressed on my own. Not sure why! LOL. Perhaps, the sweet moment of being with someone or just the companionship. I miss a lot of moments in my life. Hoping God will allow me to go back to those moments and make me smile again. There are moments I would rather just keep in a bottle. When I need to recall those moments, just open the bottle and release it. When you feel happy, store it again.

Moments I really miss the most are:

• MJ's family dinner
• Outings with my youngest brother
• Long and silly conversation with my eldest bro
• Spoiled by two of my elder sisters
• Arguing with my youngest sisters
• Not talking to mom
• Listening to Dad's stupid jokes
• Being crazy with some old friends
• Laughing at Seng's reaction when he lost in PSP monster hunter
• Gaelle's funny accent
• Erin's whacky dance movements - unbelieveable
• Watching sun sets at the beach
• Being the old me :(
• Not to lose someone I love so much
• My late grandma's and grandpas's smile
• My 18th Birthday!
• Sleeping on air mattress
• Hug by the three angels: Iman Mirul and Bazillah
• Listening to my hardcore musics
• Talking to Jimmy about anything
• Driving Toyota VIOS
• Mom's smiley face

Soon... I will be missing Richard's:

• Smile
• Hug
• Cigarette smell on my hand
• Sarcasm
• Conversation
• Weekends together
• Dinner
• Cinema Date
• Drinking hot drink in a pub
• Skinhead hair
• Kissing his forehead wrinkles
• Everything I guess :)

I say it today because who knows what happen tomorrow. While I still can say this, I am more than happy that all of you know how I feel and what's in my head. I do not mind if you all saying I am emo or pushing it too hard. This is me. I like being honest and sincere with myself. I am more than grateful having all of you around me. To bad, that we all have to be parted for now. I hope to see you all again, if there is any chance! You all are my life, my life means nothing without you all. Though you all are far from me, you all are one of the reasons for me to stay longer and keep on moving.